Lessons from a school bus

This morning I took the kids to Lowes to build a school bus. Lowes puts these projects on every other week for kids and we have attended the last three times. The kids love it and we meet some friends from church and go to Waffle House beforehand and then proceed to Lowe’s.

The projects that Lowe’s have are at a kid’s level but still require a little assistance from dad. For dads that are patient and handy that should not be a problem. However the father that God gave Nathaniel and Julianna struggles with both patience and handiness at times. This morning proved to be no different.

Julianna was working on her bus and hammering in nails that did not want to cooperate. Watching her struggle with the hammer and nails made me want to instantly relieve her of the struggle. I politely mentioned to Julianna to let me finish off the nail before she broke the wood or bent the nail beyond repair. However she did not perceive her circumstances as a struggle and wanted to do it herself. So I backed off and went back to being a spectator of a show that was not enjoyable.

As I was watching Julianna struggle it became apparent to me that what was important to me was not important to her. Time was important to me since it was taking her forever. Time did not phase her because her day was wide open. The quality of her work was also important since I could tell the school bus was not going to be done right. Quality was of little concern to her as well. She valued being able to have independence and complete a task that would give her the ability to say, “I did it all by myself.”

Why is it important for her to be able to say that she did it by herself? Wouldn’t she rather have it done right with a little assistance then to have it done wrong? The answer was quickly apparent that the confidence gained from independence outweighed all obstacles.

How many times have I wanted to intervene for someone because of my impatience? It is easy to disguise impatience with a helpful tone but in the end it is self motivated not others motivated. It is terrible watching someone struggle when you have the ability to bring them out of it. I think that is consistent with most human beings that we hate to see people struggle.

I think God is teaching me that struggling is not always bad. If you watch someone run a marathon their face tells a story of struggle. When you are in a weight room and someone is bench pressing a lot of weight you can see struggle. Struggles build qualities into our lives that can produce character and endurance. When the marathon is completed or the weight lifted the arms go in the air signifying victory and excitement.

If Julianna is okay with the struggle than who am I to say that she needs me. I want to be available if she says, “Can you help me daddy?” However I never heard those words and so I sat by chewing on my fingernails until the project was completed.

I think the lesson learned for me was to keep others before myself. People learn a lot in the midst of struggles. I see it repetitively in the world of recovery that when an individual is struggling good hearted people want to intervene because of a weak stomach to brokenness. Do we intervene to help the individual or because we are tired of watching and enduring. I think a good message for all of us to hear is “Let people struggle sometimes.” Tell them you love them and are praying for them and the best way you can help them is to push them to Jesus. We come to Jesus when we are at the end of ourselves and are tired of living the way we have lived. Until that tiredness is present we keep doing the same activities we have always done. It gets us the same results we have always gotten.

So my fingernails are gone and my stress level is high but Julianna left with a school bus that contained her handiwork and a big smile on her face. Another lesson learned on the journey of life :)