Lessons from a school bus

This morning I took the kids to Lowes to build a school bus. Lowes puts these projects on every other week for kids and we have attended the last three times. The kids love it and we meet some friends from church and go to Waffle House beforehand and then proceed to Lowe’s.

The projects that Lowe’s have are at a kid’s level but still require a little assistance from dad. For dads that are patient and handy that should not be a problem. However the father that God gave Nathaniel and Julianna struggles with both patience and handiness at times. This morning proved to be no different.

Julianna was working on her bus and hammering in nails that did not want to cooperate. Watching her struggle with the hammer and nails made me want to instantly relieve her of the struggle. I politely mentioned to Julianna to let me finish off the nail before she broke the wood or bent the nail beyond repair. However she did not perceive her circumstances as a struggle and wanted to do it herself. So I backed off and went back to being a spectator of a show that was not enjoyable.

As I was watching Julianna struggle it became apparent to me that what was important to me was not important to her. Time was important to me since it was taking her forever. Time did not phase her because her day was wide open. The quality of her work was also important since I could tell the school bus was not going to be done right. Quality was of little concern to her as well. She valued being able to have independence and complete a task that would give her the ability to say, “I did it all by myself.”

Why is it important for her to be able to say that she did it by herself? Wouldn’t she rather have it done right with a little assistance then to have it done wrong? The answer was quickly apparent that the confidence gained from independence outweighed all obstacles.

How many times have I wanted to intervene for someone because of my impatience? It is easy to disguise impatience with a helpful tone but in the end it is self motivated not others motivated. It is terrible watching someone struggle when you have the ability to bring them out of it. I think that is consistent with most human beings that we hate to see people struggle.

I think God is teaching me that struggling is not always bad. If you watch someone run a marathon their face tells a story of struggle. When you are in a weight room and someone is bench pressing a lot of weight you can see struggle. Struggles build qualities into our lives that can produce character and endurance. When the marathon is completed or the weight lifted the arms go in the air signifying victory and excitement.

If Julianna is okay with the struggle than who am I to say that she needs me. I want to be available if she says, “Can you help me daddy?” However I never heard those words and so I sat by chewing on my fingernails until the project was completed.

I think the lesson learned for me was to keep others before myself. People learn a lot in the midst of struggles. I see it repetitively in the world of recovery that when an individual is struggling good hearted people want to intervene because of a weak stomach to brokenness. Do we intervene to help the individual or because we are tired of watching and enduring. I think a good message for all of us to hear is “Let people struggle sometimes.” Tell them you love them and are praying for them and the best way you can help them is to push them to Jesus. We come to Jesus when we are at the end of ourselves and are tired of living the way we have lived. Until that tiredness is present we keep doing the same activities we have always done. It gets us the same results we have always gotten.

So my fingernails are gone and my stress level is high but Julianna left with a school bus that contained her handiwork and a big smile on her face. Another lesson learned on the journey of life :)

French Silk Ice Cream

I would have never thought a craving for French Silk ice cream would lead me to a divine appointment. I try to avoid Walmart as often as I can. The parking is inconvenient and everyone known to man seems to be there when I go. I would rather pay a little more at Rite Aid and avoid the headace than to save a dollar but endure the confusion. Just a pet peeve of mine. Michelle and I were wanting French Silk Ice Cream last night and the container had one spoonful left. Not nearly enough for people that love ice cream like me and Michelle. I had 10 minutes before Rite Aid closed and so I rushed next door to the store. I arrived on time but they were out of the ice cream. Instead of going home to tell my wife the bad news about the ice cream I decided to quickly run to Walmart. As I walked into the doors of Walmart I noticed my neighbor purchasing food at the check out line. She didnt make eye contact with me and so I didnt initiate a hello either. I grabbed 2 containers of French Silk ice cream since it was on sale and proceeded to the check out line. My neighbor was still in line with a discouraged look on her face. However when she saw me she got very excited. She told the check out clerk that this is my neighbor and he can attest to who I am. I asked what was going on like a courteous neighbor and if everything was okay. Low and behold she had forgotten her wallet and her son was already eating chips out of one of the bags. She had a check but no ID. They were unable to cash the check as a result. The food had been opened and so it was unable to be returned. She had called her husband but they have a baby and he was already asleep in bed. I told her I would pay for her groceries and it was no big deal. A little embarrassment on her part but all ended well. I went home and told Michelle that I think I was in the right place at the right time. I am glad now that Rite Aid didn't have the ice cream for fear that my neighbor might secretly be trying to seal up the potato chips bag and return them or still standing there in line still today.
I dont know if God had me go to Walmart last night for that very purpose but it does remind me that what I often consider an inconvenience might have the potential for a Kingdom moment. In Romans we are reminded that all things work together for good and that God is involved in the details. I don't use the word coincidence any more because I dont think there is any such thing. Instead of coincidence I like to use the word divine appointment. God orders our steps as we attempt to stay in step with the Spirit. I want to remember this because there are times I am in the check out line of life and my face is getting flushed and I am looking around wondering how this is going to work out. A good reminder is that it always does!! It ALWAYS does!!

Change on the Horizon

It is hard to believe that it has been 6 years ago that we left Lexington, Kentucky and went to live in Southern Ohio. Saying good bye to friends that were like family to us was challenging. I will never forget the sorrow of the final hugs and tears of saying good bye. We enjoyed the time in Kentucky but figured it was a short 4 year season that God had given to us. Nathaniel and Julianna were both born in Lexington and so this city would always carry precious memories with us. Little did we know that we would be back 2 and a half years later. The time at the Refuge in Ohio was life changing. Tom Thompson poured into me like a spiritual father pouring into a spiritual son. We had no idea that there was coming a day when all the life lessons would be recalled by my stepping into similar places of leadership. Michelle and I learned lessons in Ohio that have made us better parents and have a better marriage. It was a gift from God to take a short season to improve ourselves and be witness to a ministry that would give us a framework for future ministry.

The day for that ministry has arrived. I resigned from Southland Christian Church on August 13th, 2009. My last day on staff at Southland will be October 30th 2009. The timing of God is now to focus my time and energy towards Refuge For Women. This ministry is from the grassroots and will reach out to Exotic Dancers leaving the Adult Entertainment Industry. I knew God was calling us to start a Refuge when we returned from Ohio but i thought it would be to similar men that we ministered to in Ohio. It was upon meeting Jani Lewis and her telling me about a ministry that she started called Bruised Reed that I began realizing this was the people group God was calling us to minister. It would not be men but women and children.

What a journey that it has been. I thought I was ready to start this ministry 2 years ago but it is amazing how God's timing does not always align with our timing. It has been filled with excitement, anticipation, questioning, frustration, divine appointments, and much much more. God is at work and that is the most important aspect of this journey. I asked a friend to create this blog for me so that those interested can watch the ministry unfold and we can all give glory to God together. It is all about Him and His love for these precious girls has not just begun but he has been preparing the people and places for many years. Glory to His name!!!

From the time I was a kid I loved reading missionary stories of faith. God would provide in miraculous ways during times it looked bleak. Many of the stories I am going to write on this blog will be faith stories. I have faith their will be faith stories. :) I hope that all of our faith increases in days to come as God shows himself faithful.